Jubilee

On September 25, 2015, I lost my job with a company I'd worked for for just over 7 years. Actually, it was 7 years, one month and 1 week. I was hired on August 18, 2008.

Before being let go, I signed up for a men's retreat that I was hesitant to attend because I was ashamed at being unemployed. While I labeled my release date as "dooms day" where I was not really provided a reason for my release, I felt like I'd let my family down. I didn't want to be around my peers because I felt my shame would be on display.

As many men know, we subconsciously size each other up based on our accomplishments. This is apparent when you listen to men greeting and meeting men.

"HI, I'm glad to meet you. What do you do? "

" Oh, cool. Married? Kids? Where did you go to college? What's your degree in?"

This happened and I layer myself out there hoping someone there would have mercy on me and know where I could get a great job. I'd only been unemployed a couple of weeks (ultimately, I was unemployed 6 months, three days before getting hired).

One of the first people I spoke to was a man named Johnny Combs. His response baffled me.

"I'm not disappointed or sad that you don't have a job. I'm excited for you. I'm a little envious. You're in the best position for God to do what he wants to do. You're not focused on a job. You're focused on him. Additionally, we are in the year of Jubilee. In the year of Jubilee, God restores back to his chosen what was taken or given away. God is going to give you more than you could have hoped or asked for."

During my months on unemployment, I continued to feel depressed and downtrodden as no job came to me and guaranteed jobs I applied for disappeared without cause. Then along came an opportunity that from the day I saw their name, I knew I would get hired. No, knowing the job was mine did not remove any of my preparation or anxiety. As a matter of fact, the two days after my face to face interview in South Carolina, I had insomnia and indigestion with a healthy side of heartburn.

I've been in my position for almost 7 months and I'm reminded of the words spoken over me by Johnny. I'm also reminded of a prayer prayed over me right before I flew out to the interview. She prayed for an over abundance of favor.

I look at my job experience and I see a company that wanted to hire me after the first conversation but put me through the procedure because of policy. I see a company that corporately prays. I was amazed the first time I was exposed to it. I'm with a company that loves me and wants me to succeed and exceed not only my own expectations but also theirs.

So now, the Jubilee statement...

According to the internet, Jubilee is not officially recognized because of disagreement over whether the Jubilee year is year one of the next set of 7's or if there is a gap year to celebrate before starting over. However, there is a wide belief that the 120th Jubilee started on September 23, 2015.

I'm a product of this resetting and restoration that is talked about. My release was divine and my new assignment is divine as well. I am beyond blessed. I see it through a salary I don't deserve, a car that is completely paid for by the company including gas and maintenance. I see it through my peers which only lift me up. God is good. God is great. God does things in his time, his way and for his glory.

Lord, thank you for not letting me go. Thank you for taking me from a place where I was stagnant to the place I have hope and growth. All this is you.

Heirlooms

I was recently given something that I plan on turning into an heirloom at the request of my father.  The heirloom is an 1817 print of a bible from London.


While stationed in Connecticut, at the Historic Ship Nautilus and Submarine Museum, Groton, CT, my parents visited a local Book Barn with my family.  We would take our kids on a fairly regular basis because the atmosphere is so awesome.  The "store" looks like a little village in the woods with a house and a shed and a tent, etc.  Every building was filled to the brim with used books.  We would go out there and spend a few dollars so the kids could take home new stories to enjoy.  On this particular visit around 2007, while there with my parents, we came across a bible dated 1817.  The price was only $40.00 which my dad saw as a steal and made the purchase. 


Fast forward to Christmas 2015.  My father has had his parents living with him for about 5 years.  Well, my grandfather still lives with him.  My grandmother passed away March 2013.  My grandfather has been slowly passing out the more valuable of his belongings to his children so that he can have the satisfaction of watching them enjoy the items while he is still alive.  None of us thing he is passing anytime soon but he wants to make sure he has the opportunity to give things to the people he intends for them to go to.


My dad has been the recipient of most of the things my grandfather gives away because 1) he is the oldest son and 2) my grandfather lives in his house.  When he finds something to give away dad is usually the first person he sees. 


So this Christmas, my dad and I were in his library when he pulls down the 1817 bible and hands it to me.  He says something to the effect of....


Tim, this bible did not originate in our family but I think it should stay in our family.  This bible has a rich history that most likely included the Civil war and there are no telling how many different people have owned it.  We now own it and I'd like it to become a part of our family's legacy.  I am passing it on to you for you to share with and pass down to your children.


WOW!!!!!  What an honor!  We don't really have any heirlooms that I know of.  I have a couple of pocket watches that my grandfather gave me last year, but he purchased them.  I have a rifle from WWI from my wife's grandmother, but her grandfather purchased it.  I have a rifle from WWII but my father purchased it.  I'm not sure that I have anything that would qualify as an heirloom that was an heirloom before falling into my possession.


So this post is about heirlooms but I must admit that since I just recently acquired the bible, most of this is going to be about the bible with updates (hopefully) as I obtain more information.


Pictures and more to come later.

Overflowing Dream

 

Before all of the details escape my mind, I want to flesh them out.  Friday night, 5/24, I had a dream.  The dream was very vivid.  Here is what I can recall now that I am writing it down four days later:

I find myself in my own home.  The home is in my opinion a Dutch or English style home made from round, cobblestone rocks or stones.  The house is two stories tall with a basement overlooking a vast expansive countryside.  The house seems simple and square.

While I’m in my home, it starts to rain.  The rain seems soft and comforting at first but then the rain picks up.  I don’t recall any wind or thunder, just lots of rain.  I am walking around my home when I notice that near the ceiling in one of the upper rooms, there is a small growing stain.  A closer examination reveals that the stain is due to water.  The stain is damp indicating it is recent.

As I gaze upon the leak, my heart begins to sink with the feeling that my beautiful home is damaged and that the water will only increase the damage.  I begin thinking of ways to repair the leak and the cost that repair might incur.  I soon begin to investigate further to determine what actually the issue is.  To my surprise and delight, I find that the home has a unique drainage system akin to the drainage system on a submarine. This system is quite complicated with many parts.  It’s a system that took quite a bit of engineering and time to accomplish.

 The roof gutters did not drain directly towards the ground.  Instead they drain inward to piping interior to the walls.  Unfortunately, the piping is not continuous.  I imagine that one, the nice interior walls were not there during the original installation and two, the non-continuous piping allows for de-clogging of sections as necessary without engaging the entire drainage system.  Furthermore, each collection funnel is actually collecting runoff from more than one drain.  This means that there are probably a dozen or so gutter drains on the roof and two or more will collect in one funnel.  This specific location is handling the water just fine with minimal splatter.  The splatter however is what I am seeing.  I make a mental note to install a splash guard once the rain stops.

Sometime later, I find myself in a lower room in a stressful situation again.  This time, I know something is wrong.  I am in a carpeted room on the lower floor and not only is the floor wet but the wet spot is visibly growing at a rate that would cover the entire room in a matter of minutes.  Instantly I am fearful that my home is about to be flooded.

I am not sure what to think about this new information.  I don’t remember the history on this house however I have that sinking dreadful feeling of loss as I see the cost of repairing whatever has gone wrong.  I go to investigate in the basement as my rational mind attempts to take over in finding a solution to the problem.

The basement of this home resembles a submarine bilge or a large building’s boiler room.  The main structure of the room is a concrete lined valley that leads towards a large open grate that appeared to drain away from the home towards a creek.  The entire room contained various grating and catwalks for passage around the boiler, pump and drainage components contained in the basement.  As I walk into the basement, I immediately know what the issue is.  The rain was heavier than I could see or imagine.  The funnel draining system was ineffective in the fact that each upstream funnel was flowing at its maximum capacity.  Several maximum capacity drains filling one funnel had caused it to overflow.  All of the funnels in the walls and in the lower level were over flowing.  The water buildup I’d seen in the bedroom was the overflow from one of these funnels running right onto the wall next to it, under the wall and into the room, showing on the carpet.  As each of these funnels, and there seemed to be dozens and dozens, overflowed, there came a buildup of water in the valley floor section as the water became more than the drain at the end of the room could handle.

In the midst of viewing what appears to be the beginning of a disastrous situation, I suddenly am struck with a vision from my past.  I remember this room.  It is the room that stays hidden from everyone.  In this room, I’d spent lots of time bringing in wheel barrow load after wheel barrow load of dirt.  I’d taken the dirt and I’d placed it all over the room.  The vision showed that the loads of dirt were small at first, only a shovel full or two.  Then later the loads had gotten so large that it would take days to bring in all of the dirt.  As the vision of this memory fades, reality fades back in and I am back in the basement watching the new story unfold.  Each of the overflowing funnels is washing away the dirt that is packed into all of the nooks and crannies of the room.  While the water is building up, the dirt is quickly and easily washed away.  The backing up of water is in no way due to the dirt but it due to the sheer abundance of water.

At this point, I wake up from my dream.  I don’t really have an ending to my dream, just that I woke up.  As I ponder the dream, knowing that God frequently speaks to people in the form of dreams, I feel like God is trying to tell me something.  My family has been in a dry season.  Oh there has been rain.  Enough to keep the crops alive, but not enough for them really to flourish.  I think the simplistic home in my dream resembles the simplistic life that my family leads.  My home has many rooms and is two stories tall.  Within the walls was an intricate labyrinth of drainage funnels.  I think this home represents the preparation that my family and I have taken to ensure that our lives can handle the storms that come our way, though little of that preparation involves finances.  I believe the rain represents the blessings that the Father is pouring out on my family.  I believe that the overflowing funnels represents the abundance of blessing that the Lord will pour out on my family.  A shower that is more than our most intricate engineering design can contain.  I think the basement represents our secret place of hiding.  It is the place we hide lies, sin, debt and shame.  It is the place that we’ve slowly filled up with the things we want to hang onto but know that we shouldn’t and somehow can’t seem to clear away.  The part of this dream that brings tears to my eyes when I think about it is the part where the waters that are overflowing wash away all of the dirt that has built up in the basement.  To me this shows that despite my hardest efforts to hang onto the things I know I shouldn’t hold onto, God is going to cleanse me.  He is going to wash it all away and still pour out his mercy, grace and blessing. 

I’m both scared and excited about the potential of this dream.  I am scared because the bible constantly talks about dying to this and burning away at that.  Like the dream, I am stressed and fearful of the damage that the water is doing to my home.  I know my life will most likely receive perceived damage as cleansing occurs.  I am excited because I’ve always wanted to be an active part of God’s will.  A part that I could see.  Not that I want to take any glory however I long for the biblical days of miracles and visual signs and wonders.  I don’t need proof to follow God, I just want to see it.  If I am in God’s will and receiving an outpouring of his blessing that overflows my “highly engineered” drainage system, then this is something that cannot be hidden even if I wanted to hide it.

Basketball Coaching For Dummies

So this is me.  I am a dummy when it comes to coaching basketball.  I think I am going to try it out this year.   I do not have any real experience even playing basketball.  I never played in school nor did I play in an out-of-school organized league.  I did live in an area known as "the hill" (the word at the beginning of that name was dropped and replaced by "the" as it would start fights unless you were black).  Living near The Hill, street ball was very common.  I did venture into street ball with my neighbors.  I mostly knew them and had report with them due to the fact that I ran track and could out run the majority of them.  I never was very good at street ball, but I never turned down an invitation to play.  Actually, for my 16th birthday I requested for and received a basketball goal that my dad mounted to the garage.  It was a magnet for the neighbors.  Most days that the weather allowed, you could find me out back with no less than 3-5 of the black neighbors playing basketball.  Once I actually obtained transportation (well into my 17th year of life) the crowds diminished.

So back on to me coaching basketball.  My knowledge of basketball mostly comes from watching basketball.  I enjoy going to Maverick's games and kinda enjoy going to my children's games.  To be honest, the environment kinda ruins it for me.  The kids games are in gyms that are crazy loud with ridiculous echoes.  To make matters worse, I have to help corral the other four children, all of which really want to run out on the court during play.  This year, my second son wants to play basketball.  I am going to attempt to coach his team.  I might say that this is the blind leading the blind, but I will try to stay one chapter ahead of the crowd.

I found an electronic copy of Coaching Basketball for Dummies.  I plan on reading it as well as a few other informational guides so I can NOT look completely stupid.  I took a shot at coaching for the first time last year with a t-ball team.  The difference?  I know baseball.  I played lots of baseball.  On the other hand, I love coaching kids.  I enjoy spending time out there.  It is fun for me, win or lose.

So here I go.  Head first into coaching a basketball.  I have not been approved by the league yet.  I don't know if I will have my own team or if I will assist someone else.  I do know that I kinda need to be out there because Jaedon doesn't respond like you would expect a normal child to.

I am kinda scared of the unknown but excited to be faced with the challenge.

Learn to coach a sport I myself rarely played.  Got it.
 

What I'm reading

I just finished the book, Why Guys Need God by Mike Erre.
This is an amazing book. I have never struggled with what it means to be a man but I have struggled with exactly how to raise my boys as men. This book, I feel, correctly identifies the many aspects of life a man deals with.
I identify with this book entirely. It is a must read for any man who wishes to ensure he is on the right path.

Men's Retreat

We arrived at about 4:15. I found a bunk and Mike chose to sleep beneath me.  Our first event was a welcome meeting followed shortly by dinner. I kinda feel lost here. I have attended Sojourn for over four years and I really don't know anyone. There are a few faces that I know the name that match, but I really don't know anyone.  I know Mike is following me around because I am really the only person he knows. I am really hoping to get in touch with God this weekend.

The first message talks about the trinity. The three roles of God and the three roles of man. God the father is the king. As a king we are to lead and provide but more than that, we are to protect and fight battles. Jesus is the son. As the son, we are the priest. The priest prays and worships and provides the spiritual atmosphere where the family can grow and thrive. The Spririt is the prophet. As the prophet of the family, the man's role is to speak life and rebuke death.

I think I am the best at being a king. I think I lead my family, provide for my family and stand up for my family in all of their battles. I think I am the weakest as the priest. I have not provided the type of environment that provides a spiritual safe haven.

I feel like God is telling me to come to him as a child.

Father, I lift up my hands to you. Lord, pick me up. I want to rest my face on your shoulder. Wrap your arms around me. Show me your warmth. Father, as you hold me, comfort me. I confide in you all my weaknesses. Lift me up. Carry me. I am a man who is built to lead and have all of the answers for my family. Lord, I humbly come to you, as my children come to me and ask you to lead me.

After the service, we moved down to the amphitheater for a dose of outdoor worship. Man it was awesome. There is something amazing about the sound of men worshiping together.

Afterwards, I opted to return to the bunkroom and read. Periodically people would come by and give me updates on the Ranger's game. I think me not having a cell signal is a blessing. I know I would have been distracted throughout the service and the worship that followed. I went to bed about 23:45. I won't say I went to sleep. Sleep mostly eluded me. Someone must have cold when they came into the room. I am fairly certain that someone turned the heat on. I was uncomfortable and sweating all night. I was struck with a chill around 5:00. Someone else must have been hot because I felt like the the air conditioner came on. From 5:00 to 6:00 was sweet blissful rest. My alarm went off at six so I got up. I read out on the patio while taking in the brisk mountain air. I heard what I feel was a raccoon chattering.

After one of the lessons, during a small group session, one of the men in my group looked at me and said that he felt the Lord impressing on him to tell me that I have a visionary spirit. He further described what he felt that meant. I didn't write it down so I don't remember all he said.

Lord, show me what this word means. I don't understand but want to live in you word. I want to live in your comfort and presence.

The second message ended with two questions: Where in your life do you operate out of an orphaned spirit? and What area of your life does a Spirit of adoption control?

I don't fully see how to apply these questions to my life. I tried to think of what might possibly fall into these categories but nothing seems to fit. I feel like I may have a small amount of mental blockage due to the terms used. Having lived I'm a Christian home all of my life I have never felt like an orphan.

Lord, help me to see how these two questions apply to me. I want to identify my fault so they can be corrected. Additionally, I want to highlight the areas of strength so they can be utilized more.

The last session ended with this question:

What two ingredients are necessary for a victorious, successful, and joyful life regardless of your situation?

I felt like the main ingredient is companionship.

We need companions. After Adam was made, God said it was not good for man to be alone. More than just our wives, man needs the companionship of other men. Men who can offer opinions, insight, comfort, and support. Men who will not judge but will help and pray.

Other ingredients are remembrance, reachability/discipleship and confidence (or the removal/rejection of doubt).

Our group also asked the question of, what fuels victory in our life?

I really enjoyed the retreat. I didn't want to participate in the games they offered. I instead chose to read my book.

Adventures of Boy and Girl: Car Shopping