Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Overflowing Dream


 
Before all of the details escape my mind, I want to flesh them out.  Friday night, 5/24, I had a dream.  The dream was very vivid.  Here is what I can recall now that I am writing it down four days later:
I find myself in my own home.  The home is in my opinion a Dutch or English style home made from round, cobblestone rocks or stones.  The house is two stories tall with a basement overlooking a vast expansive countryside.  The house seems simple and square.

While I’m in my home, it starts to rain.  The rain seems soft and comforting at first but then the rain picks up.  I don’t recall any wind or thunder, just lots of rain.  I am walking around my home when I notice that near the ceiling in one of the upper rooms, there is a small growing stain.  A closer examination reveals that the stain is due to water.  The stain is damp indicating it is recent.

As I gaze upon the leak, my heart begins to sink with the feeling that my beautiful home is damaged and that the water will only increase the damage.  I begin thinking of ways to repair the leak and the cost that repair might incur.  I soon begin to investigate further to determine what actually the issue is.  To my surprise and delight, I find that the home has a unique drainage system akin to the drainage system on a submarine. This system is quite complicated with many parts.  It’s a system that took quite a bit of engineering and time to accomplish.





 The roof gutters did not drain directly towards the ground.  Instead they drain inward to piping interior to the walls.  Unfortunately, the piping is not continuous.  I imagine that one, the nice interior walls were not there during the original installation and two, the non-continuous piping allows for de-clogging of sections as necessary without engaging the entire drainage system.  Furthermore, each collection funnel is actually collecting runoff from more than one drain.  This means that there are probably a dozen or so gutter drains on the roof and two or more will collect in one funnel.  This specific location is handling the water just fine with minimal splatter.  The splatter however is what I am seeing.  I make a mental note to install a splash guard once the rain stops.
Sometime later, I find myself in a lower room in a stressful situation again.  This time, I know something is wrong.  I am in a carpeted room on the lower floor and not only is the floor wet but the wet spot is visibly growing at a rate that would cover the entire room in a matter of minutes.  Instantly I am fearful that my home is about to be flooded.

I am not sure what to think about this new information.  I don’t remember the history on this house however I have that sinking dreadful feeling of loss as I see the cost of repairing whatever has gone wrong.  I go to investigate in the basement as my rational mind attempts to take over in finding a solution to the problem.
The basement of this home resembles a submarine bilge or a large building’s boiler room.  The main structure of the room is a concrete lined valley that leads towards a large open grate that appeared to drain away from the home towards a creek.  The entire room contained various grating and catwalks for passage around the boiler, pump and drainage components contained in the basement.  As I walk into the basement, I immediately know what the issue is.  The rain was heavier than I could see or imagine.  The funnel draining system was ineffective in the fact that each upstream funnel was flowing at its maximum capacity.  Several maximum capacity drains filling one funnel had caused it to overflow.  All of the funnels in the walls and in the lower level were over flowing.  The water buildup I’d seen in the bedroom was the overflow from one of these funnels running right onto the wall next to it, under the wall and into the room, showing on the carpet.  As each of these funnels, and there seemed to be dozens and dozens, overflowed, there came a buildup of water in the valley floor section as the water became more than the drain at the end of the room could handle.

In the midst of viewing what appears to be the beginning of a disastrous situation, I suddenly am struck with a vision from my past.  I remember this room.  It is the room that stays hidden from everyone.  In this room, I’d spent lots of time bringing in wheel barrow load after wheel barrow load of dirt.  I’d taken the dirt and I’d placed it all over the room.  The vision showed that the loads of dirt were small at first, only a shovel full or two.  Then later the loads had gotten so large that it would take days to bring in all of the dirt.  As the vision of this memory fades, reality fades back in and I am back in the basement watching the new story unfold.  Each of the overflowing funnels is washing away the dirt that is packed into all of the nooks and crannies of the room.  While the water is building up, the dirt is quickly and easily washed away.  The backing up of water is in no way due to the dirt but it due to the sheer abundance of water.

At this point, I wake up from my dream.  I don’t really have an ending to my dream, just that I woke up.  As I ponder the dream, knowing that God frequently speaks to people in the form of dreams, I feel like God is trying to tell me something.  My family has been in a dry season.  Oh there has been rain.  Enough to keep the crops alive, but not enough for them really to flourish.  I think the simplistic home in my dream resembles the simplistic life that my family leads.  My home has many rooms and is two stories tall.  Within the walls was an intricate labyrinth of drainage funnels.  I think this home represents the preparation that my family and I have taken to ensure that our lives can handle the storms that come our way, though little of that preparation involves finances.  I believe the rain represents the blessings that the Father is pouring out on my family.  I believe that the overflowing funnels represents the abundance of blessing that the Lord will pour out on my family.  A shower that is more than our most intricate engineering design can contain.  I think the basement represents our secret place of hiding.  It is the place we hide lies, sin, debt and shame.  It is the place that we’ve slowly filled up with the things we want to hang onto but know that we shouldn’t and somehow can’t seem to clear away.  The part of this dream that brings tears to my eyes when I think about it is the part where the waters that are overflowing wash away all of the dirt that has built up in the basement.  To me this shows that despite my hardest efforts to hang onto the things I know I shouldn’t hold onto, God is going to cleanse me.  He is going to wash it all away and still pour out his mercy, grace and blessing. 

I’m both scared and excited about the potential of this dream.  I am scared because the bible constantly talks about dying to this and burning away at that.  Like the dream, I am stressed and fearful of the damage that the water is doing to my home.  I know my life will most likely receive perceived damage as cleansing occurs.  I am excited because I’ve always wanted to be an active part of God’s will.  A part that I could see.  Not that I want to take any glory however I long for the biblical days of miracles and visual signs and wonders.  I don’t need proof to follow God, I just want to see it.  If I am in God’s will and receiving an outpouring of his blessing that overflows my “highly engineered” drainage system, then this is something that cannot be hidden even if I wanted to hide it.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Basketball Coaching For Dummies


So this is me.  I am a dummy when it comes to coaching basketball.  I think I am going to try it out this year.   I do not have any real experience even playing basketball.  I never played in school nor did I play in an out-of-school organized league.  I did live in an area known as "the hill" (the word at the beginning of that name was dropped and replaced by "the" as it would start fights unless you were black).  Living near The Hill, street ball was very common.  I did venture into street ball with my neighbors.  I mostly knew them and had report with them due to the fact that I ran track and could out run the majority of them.  I never was very good at street ball, but I never turned down an invitation to play.  Actually, for my 16th birthday I requested for and received a basketball goal that my dad mounted to the garage.  It was a magnet for the neighbors.  Most days that the weather allowed, you could find me out back with no less than 3-5 of the black neighbors playing basketball.  Once I actually obtained transportation (well into my 17th year of life) the crowds diminished.

So back on to me coaching basketball.  My knowledge of basketball mostly comes from watching basketball.  I enjoy going to Maverick's games and kinda enjoy going to my children's games.  To be honest, the environment kinda ruins it for me.  The kids games are in gyms that are crazy loud with ridiculous echoes.  To make matters worse, I have to help corral the other four children, all of which really want to run out on the court during play.  This year, my second son wants to play basketball.  I am going to attempt to coach his team.  I might say that this is the blind leading the blind, but I will try to stay one chapter ahead of the crowd.

I found an electronic copy of Coaching Basketball for Dummies.  I plan on reading it as well as a few other informational guides so I can NOT look completely stupid.  I took a shot at coaching for the first time last year with a t-ball team.  The difference?  I know baseball.  I played lots of baseball.  On the other hand, I love coaching kids.  I enjoy spending time out there.  It is fun for me, win or lose.

So here I go.  Head first into coaching a basketball.  I have not been approved by the league yet.  I don't know if I will have my own team or if I will assist someone else.  I do know that I kinda need to be out there because Jaedon doesn't respond like you would expect a normal child to.

I am kinda scared of the unknown but excited to be faced with the challenge.

Learn to coach a sport I myself rarely played.  Got it.
 

Monday, October 8, 2012

What I'm reading

I just finished the book, Why Guys Need God by Mike Erre.
This is an amazing book. I have never struggled with what it means to be a man but I have struggled with exactly how to raise my boys as men. This book, I feel, correctly identifies the many aspects of life a man deals with.
I identify with this book entirely. It is a must read for any man who wishes to ensure he is on the right path.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Men's Retreat

We arrived at about 4:15. I found a bunk and Mike chose to sleep beneath me.  Our first event was a welcome meeting followed shortly by dinner. I kinda feel lost here. I have attended Sojourn for over four years and I really don't know anyone. There are a few faces that I know the name that match, but I really don't know anyone.  I know Mike is following me around because I am really the only person he knows. I am really hoping to get in touch with God this weekend.

The first message talks about the trinity. The three roles of God and the three roles of man. God the father is the king. As a king we are to lead and provide but more than that, we are to protect and fight battles. Jesus is the son. As the son, we are the priest. The priest prays and worships and provides the spiritual atmosphere where the family can grow and thrive. The Spririt is the prophet. As the prophet of the family, the man's role is to speak life and rebuke death.

I think I am the best at being a king. I think I lead my family, provide for my family and stand up for my family in all of their battles. I think I am the weakest as the priest. I have not provided the type of environment that provides a spiritual safe haven.

I feel like God is telling me to come to him as a child.

Father, I lift up my hands to you. Lord, pick me up. I want to rest my face on your shoulder. Wrap your arms around me. Show me your warmth. Father, as you hold me, comfort me. I confide in you all my weaknesses. Lift me up. Carry me. I am a man who is built to lead and have all of the answers for my family. Lord, I humbly come to you, as my children come to me and ask you to lead me.

After the service, we moved down to the amphitheater for a dose of outdoor worship. Man it was awesome. There is something amazing about the sound of men worshiping together.

Afterwards, I opted to return to the bunkroom and read. Periodically people would come by and give me updates on the Ranger's game. I think me not having a cell signal is a blessing. I know I would have been distracted throughout the service and the worship that followed. I went to bed about 23:45. I won't say I went to sleep. Sleep mostly eluded me. Someone must have cold when they came into the room. I am fairly certain that someone turned the heat on. I was uncomfortable and sweating all night. I was struck with a chill around 5:00. Someone else must have been hot because I felt like the the air conditioner came on. From 5:00 to 6:00 was sweet blissful rest. My alarm went off at six so I got up. I read out on the patio while taking in the brisk mountain air. I heard what I feel was a raccoon chattering.

After one of the lessons, during a small group session, one of the men in my group looked at me and said that he felt the Lord impressing on him to tell me that I have a visionary spirit. He further described what he felt that meant. I didn't write it down so I don't remember all he said.

Lord, show me what this word means. I don't understand but want to live in you word. I want to live in your comfort and presence.

The second message ended with two questions: Where in your life do you operate out of an orphaned spirit? and What area of your life does a Spirit of adoption control?

I don't fully see how to apply these questions to my life. I tried to think of what might possibly fall into these categories but nothing seems to fit. I feel like I may have a small amount of mental blockage due to the terms used. Having lived I'm a Christian home all of my life I have never felt like an orphan.

Lord, help me to see how these two questions apply to me. I want to identify my fault so they can be corrected. Additionally, I want to highlight the areas of strength so they can be utilized more.

The last session ended with this question:

What two ingredients are necessary for a victorious, successful, and joyful life regardless of your situation?

I felt like the main ingredient is companionship.

We need companions. After Adam was made, God said it was not good for man to be alone. More than just our wives, man needs the companionship of other men. Men who can offer opinions, insight, comfort, and support. Men who will not judge but will help and pray.

Other ingredients are remembrance, reachability/discipleship and confidence (or the removal/rejection of doubt).

Our group also asked the question of, what fuels victory in our life?

I really enjoyed the retreat. I didn't want to participate in the games they offered. I instead chose to read my book.





Sunday, November 20, 2011

Pressed down, Shaken together

Luke 6:38 NIV

Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

This scripture has been mentioned at church two weeks in a row.  Each time I hear this scripture, I can't help but watch a mental video of a memory from my childhood.

The church I would have called my home church before I got married (at which point my wife and I together chose a home church) would have been 1st Assembly of God, Atlanta, Texas.  This church had a long rich history in that community dating back to the beginnings if the city.  At the time my family joined the church, the pastor of the church was a firey old man named Leon Morrow.

Getting back to the point, the above mentioned scripture was one of the scriptures that Pastor Morrow used. Each time he used that scripture, he couldn't help himself and would yell as he quoted it. Pastor Morrow was a small man and his suits always looked way too big. His hands were losing a battle with arthritis and he showed his age which I believe was in the seventies when I knew him. As he read/quoted that scripture, he would hold his hand out to his side as in a worshipping fashion, twisting his wide open hands. He would begin to yell out the words of the passage and eventually his eyes would close. Additionally, as his blood pressure rose, two blood veins would become visible on his forehead creating a "v" in the center of his face. I have many, many memories from my time at that church. I couldn't help but write down this memory since both times our current pastor read this verse, I heard Leon speaking the words in my head. vers

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Blog app

So I recently discovered that the site I randomly blog on now has an app. Here is just a random blog to test out the app. Nothing fun. Just testing.