We arrived at about 4:15. I found a bunk and Mike chose to sleep beneath me. Our first event was a welcome meeting followed shortly by dinner. I kinda feel lost here. I have attended Sojourn for over four years and I really don't know anyone. There are a few faces that I know the name that match, but I really don't know anyone. I know Mike is following me around because I am really the only person he knows. I am really hoping to get in touch with God this weekend.
The first message talks about the trinity. The three roles of God and the three roles of man. God the father is the king. As a king we are to lead and provide but more than that, we are to protect and fight battles. Jesus is the son. As the son, we are the priest. The priest prays and worships and provides the spiritual atmosphere where the family can grow and thrive. The Spririt is the prophet. As the prophet of the family, the man's role is to speak life and rebuke death.
I think I am the best at being a king. I think I lead my family, provide for my family and stand up for my family in all of their battles. I think I am the weakest as the priest. I have not provided the type of environment that provides a spiritual safe haven.
I feel like God is telling me to come to him as a child.
Father, I lift up my hands to you. Lord, pick me up. I want to rest my face on your shoulder. Wrap your arms around me. Show me your warmth. Father, as you hold me, comfort me. I confide in you all my weaknesses. Lift me up. Carry me. I am a man who is built to lead and have all of the answers for my family. Lord, I humbly come to you, as my children come to me and ask you to lead me.
After the service, we moved down to the amphitheater for a dose of outdoor worship. Man it was awesome. There is something amazing about the sound of men worshiping together.
Afterwards, I opted to return to the bunkroom and read. Periodically people would come by and give me updates on the Ranger's game. I think me not having a cell signal is a blessing. I know I would have been distracted throughout the service and the worship that followed. I went to bed about 23:45. I won't say I went to sleep. Sleep mostly eluded me. Someone must have cold when they came into the room. I am fairly certain that someone turned the heat on. I was uncomfortable and sweating all night. I was struck with a chill around 5:00. Someone else must have been hot because I felt like the the air conditioner came on. From 5:00 to 6:00 was sweet blissful rest. My alarm went off at six so I got up. I read out on the patio while taking in the brisk mountain air. I heard what I feel was a raccoon chattering.
After one of the lessons, during a small group session, one of the men in my group looked at me and said that he felt the Lord impressing on him to tell me that I have a visionary spirit. He further described what he felt that meant. I didn't write it down so I don't remember all he said.
Lord, show me what this word means. I don't understand but want to live in you word. I want to live in your comfort and presence.
The second message ended with two questions: Where in your life do you operate out of an orphaned spirit? and What area of your life does a Spirit of adoption control?
I don't fully see how to apply these questions to my life. I tried to think of what might possibly fall into these categories but nothing seems to fit. I feel like I may have a small amount of mental blockage due to the terms used. Having lived I'm a Christian home all of my life I have never felt like an orphan.
Lord, help me to see how these two questions apply to me. I want to identify my fault so they can be corrected. Additionally, I want to highlight the areas of strength so they can be utilized more.
The last session ended with this question:
What two ingredients are necessary for a victorious, successful, and joyful life regardless of your situation?
I felt like the main ingredient is companionship.
We need companions. After Adam was made, God said it was not good for man to be alone. More than just our wives, man needs the companionship of other men. Men who can offer opinions, insight, comfort, and support. Men who will not judge but will help and pray.
Other ingredients are remembrance, reachability/discipleship and confidence (or the removal/rejection of doubt).
Our group also asked the question of, what fuels victory in our life?
I really enjoyed the retreat. I didn't want to participate in the games they offered. I instead chose to read my book.
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